..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
