I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
