I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize