Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
