Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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