i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
