all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
