I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
