Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
