Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Congratulations! We have a period
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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