I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
