Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Enjoy the penises
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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