Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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