there was a trapeze. enough said
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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