I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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