I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize