So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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