we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
