How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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