At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
