When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
