and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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