He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
