I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
