Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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