Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
