If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
