She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
