He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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