The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
