I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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