Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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