yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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