At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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