drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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