haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
