Please, let me fuck your mom
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
