i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
