Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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