I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize