i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
