Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
