Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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