we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
