sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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