I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
