She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
