'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
