the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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