I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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