Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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