in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
