It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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