He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize