just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
