No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
