Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize